"As we're a blended family, we all club together to share childcare"
Meet Bernie, who is tentative about taking on more work due to childcare costs.
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Today we meet Bernie, 37. She’s a freelance full-stack digital marketer and is a mum of 3 + 2 inherited from her partner. She has a son, 13, and two daughters aged 7 and 2. Her stepson is 9 and her stepdaughter is 5.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
Each pregnancy has a different story. I had PND with 2 of my kids, and that really impacted life as a parent. Right now, I co-parent very successfully with my kid’s dads - and think co-parenting needs a massive social kudos.
Did you save ahead of time for your child?
Nope, but each child was planned. I had PND with 2 of my children and each time, it changed my working career. I began to prioritise my mental health over stress and work. It was a struggle financially, but we made it through.
What is your current working situation?
Self-employed. I'd love to have the financial stability of working in-house or agency, but I'm AuDHD and people think I'm weird within a work environment!
How do your employer or clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
I am transparent with my clients about my flexible working hours and deliverable expectations. I have a brilliant co-parenting arrangement for my kids.
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family?
Luckily, my son is old enough to sort himself out in the mornings, but my daughters still need a little assistance. I take the girls to school/childcare, which depends on the days they are home with me or with their Dad. After the school run, it's either back to my home office or to a co-working space I go to in Lancaster. 2pm comes and it's school run and tea time. I usually have a full free day on Fridays to work the whole day undisrupted. Saturday and Sundays are work-free days and time with the kids or some R&R on a child-free weekend - usually 2 of 4 weeks a month.
What role does your partner or co-parent play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
Whatever needs doing, we do it. Everything is shared.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
School for my 2 older children and a private childminder with government funding for my youngest. My youngest daughter has slight additional needs and has developmental delays, so we felt a childminder would be more suitable. On school holidays, as we're a blended family, we all club together to share childcare.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
Yes. For our youngest daughter, but it's still very expensive.
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's finances and budgeting?
During term time, it isn't too bad as funded hours cover what we need, but out of school term, it's a fortune as the government doesn't cover childcare in the holidays.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
Mostly positive. I'm still in recovery with PND, but I feel once I've really found my feet and overcome the impostor syndrome, I can build my business more and feel more confident to take on more work. Currently, I'm tentative about opening my availability up completely because I fear I'll under-serve clients due to childcare commitments.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
The financial uncertainty of being self-employed. The work IS out there, is just investing the hours to prospect and juggle being a parent.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
The expense of childcare for pre-school-aged children. Even with supplemented support from the Government, it's still expensive - especially in the holidays.
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
A full 180°. I owned a restaurant before my youngest daughter came along, and that had to change due to the difficulties from my pregnancy with her. Now, I work around my kids instead of the kids working around work.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
Take time out for your kids. Do all of the wholesome stuff with them. Work can wait.
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
Take a step back and remember we're all in the rat race together. I remember that we "work to live, not live to work".
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
I try to have at least half a day a week to give myself some "me" time. It could be just sitting in a quiet house whilst everyone is out, doing a bit of charity shopping, mooching, enjoying a razz out on my skates, gaming, or pottering about the house and garden.