"I had always been unsure about whether I wanted to have kids or not"

Meet Katharina, a freelance translator living in Leipzig, Germany

Happy Saturday, lovely readers!

Can you believe it’s April? The sun is shining here in London and it’s the Easter holidays too, so sending strength to everyone navigating no childcare. This week we’re continuing our international theme and heading to Germany for our latest contribution. We’d love to know your thoughts and feedback on Double Shift so do let us know in the comments.

As always, if you know anyone who is a working parent anywhere in the world who might enjoy reading or who would like to contribute, please send them our way. We’re always on the hunt for new voices.

Have a wonderful week!

Ella and Ellie x

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Meet Katharina, a freelance English and French into German translator specialising in Women's Health, Mental Health and contracts. Her goal is to turn complex concepts into accessible German, while always ensuring that her clients’ personality is shines through. She lives in Leipzig, Germany with her husband and daughter, who just turned 3.

What is your approximate household income?

ca. 4000 EUR/month

Can you share your journey to becoming a parent, including any planning, fertility treatments, or unexpected challenges you faced?

I had always been unsure about whether I wanted to have kids or not. The task always seemed so daunting, there's just so much you can screw up. But after my husband and I got married, the thought of being old(er), sitting by myself, all alone, without any kids somehow made me sad. So, we decided to have a go and we were lucky enough to have a positive test result after our first try. I know that this is not the norm and we are incredibly grateful for our journey. I struggled all through pregnancy with the thought of motherhood. Since I never considered myself a "person who loves kids", I had problems warming up to the fact that I'd soon be a mother. I also did not develop any maternal feelings toward my child while I was pregnant and that made me concerned. But somehow it all sort of fell into place a few minutes after the delivery, and I couldn't have been happier.

Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?

I tried working as much as I could before giving birth because the parental benefits are calculated based on what you made during the year before you have your child. My husband took parental leave for three months right after our child was born and I was on parental leave for about a year. If we ever have a second child, we'd do it very differently, so that he stays at home most of the time because as a freelancer, I had trouble getting back into work after such a long break which turned into lots of months without any work for me.

What is your current working situation?

I work from home and am self-employed.

How do your clients support you in balancing work and parenting?

I have very understanding clients that try to give me the most reasonable deadlines. However, bigger agencies often cannot take into account my parental obligations, so I either have to bite the bullet and work during the evening/night or say no to deadlines that don't work with my current situation.

Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family? How do you manage the juggle?

In the morning, my husband and I get our daughter ready for daycare. We get up around 6.30/7.00 am, get her dressed and make her breakfast. We've found that putting on her clothes in the warm bed (and not the cold bathroom) causes the least resistance on her side, so we've been doing that for quite some time now. My husband then usually takes her to daycare by 7.45/8.00 am. He works in shifts, so sometimes he gets to take her in the morning and sometimes he's already at work at that time - in which case I take her there. Luckily, it only takes me about 8 minutes by bike to get there.

I usually start working around 8.30/9.00 am, then have a break around noon during which I eat lunch and try to clear my mind. After about an hour, I get back to work until around 3 pm. I usually pick up my daughter from daycare around 3.30pm; sometimes my husband picks her up (depending on his shift) and I can get some more work done.

Afternoons are mostly family time. We usually go outside, visit playgrounds or friends. In the evening, we try to cook from scratch but sometimes frozen pizza has to do. Around 6pm, we eat dinner. On certain days, my daughter takes a bath afterwards and around 7pm, we put her to bed, read a story, listen to an audio play and by 8pm she's usually asleep. After that, it's either mom and dad time, me time or work time (if something came in between during the day that kept me from getting all the work done for that day). I'll be in bed around 10pm.

What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?

My husband tries to take care of my daughter as much as he can whenever he's at home. He also takes paid sick leave days whenever our daughter is ill. I try to take on other spontaneous things, for example when our daughter needs to be picked up earlier from daycare or when the daycare needs to close for the day unexpectedly. As for the household, I do most of the work, mostly because I spend most of my time at home and can squeeze in a few chores in between.

What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?

We take our daughter to a childminder (Tagesmutter in German), mainly because it was hard to get a proper kindergarten spot where we live (there's a big shortage on kindergarten spots in a lot of cities in Germany). It's a bit challenging sometimes because the opening hours are not as flexible as with bigger kindergarten facilities. But since our daughter was quite sensitive and shy at the start, we figured that this smaller group with only 5 children would make the transition easier for her.

Will you receive any funded hours for childcare?

In Saxony, where we live, childcare is not free. There are some states in Germany where childcare is paid for by the government, though. In Germany, the state gives a monthly child allowance of 255 EUR which is supposed to be used to pay for things like kindergarten, clothes, diapers and other necessities for the child. Our childminder fee comes to 187 EUR per month plus lunch (ca. 50-60 EUR/month) as well as ca. 70 EUR for monthly activities with the child minder (e.g. early musical education). All in all we pay around 300 EUR each month, so the monthly child allowance does not even cover the costs for our childminder.

How do you feel about your current work situation?

I sometimes feel a bit limited in my availability, mostly because of limited opening hours and the closing times of our child minder (she often closes her daycare for school holidays because she has a school-age child). My husband and I try to balance it out as much as we can but I am really looking forward to the greater flexibility of a real kindergarten spot.

What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?

Working around tight deadlines. Sometimes, I can make them work because I can squeeze in a bit of work after my child has gone to sleep but that's not always the case. I feel like I have to turn down some projects because the deadlines interfere with family-related non-negotiables in my daily schedule - sometimes my clients just don't have any wiggle room and then there's nothing I can do but decline or try to find someone who has the necessary capacities.

If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?

Just one more hour of childcare per day would help me tremendously! I would also like to attend more industry conferences but childcare and my husband working in shifts make it very hard for me to be away for several days.

How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?

I have more ambition, more motivation. Before having my kid, I would just go with the flow, not put that much effort into marketing myself or really working on my business. I would mostly work with agencies who could provide me with a steady (though lower paying) workload and that would be enough to live a comfortable life back then. But now, I have to be wiser with the time I spend working, because there's a lot less of it, and I have to be more mindful about how I want my business to develop. I am very eager to make it work and put so much more effort into it than before.

What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?

Talk to each other - find people who are in a similar situation (maybe you already know working parents or try to find a working parents network) and exchange experiences. It may not change anything about your daily challenges but it feels so good to get things off your chest. And you may get some insights into how they manage their work and private schedules that may work for you as well. Also, having a shared calendar with your partner on your phone where you note down every single appointment (even just friends coming over for a play date) makes coordinating things so much easier.

How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?

I often just power through and then don't seem to take a single deep breath until I'm done with everything - not very healthy, I know. I am trying to be more mindful, though: look at what's non-negotiable, prioritize and see if anything can be rescheduled. And before getting anything done: breathe.

How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?

I try to make personal time for just myself about once a month. I choose a day where I know my husband won't be working or will be there in the afternoon and just do whatever I feel like at that moment. Self-care, like working out, taking proper care of my own diet (and not just that of my kid), is something I will neglect very easily on a regular basis. There are times when everything works out just fine and then a few weeks later, I can hardly squeeze in a 10-minute yoga break for myself. I haven't found a solution that sticks, so far.

Anything else to add?

Raising kids is hard. But also pretty cool, if you ask me.