"I just go to work to pay the bills - if I have a good day, then it's a bonus."
Meet Laura, who wants to work less but can't afford to reduce her hours.
Morning everyone, happy Saturday!
We hope you’ve had really lovely weeks. How are you all getting on?
It was World Book Day this week. Were you up until the early hours crafting a highly specific character which required glue guns and needlework? Did your child head to their childcare in a shop-bought costume? Did you forget completely (don’t blame ya!)? Perhaps your children are blessedly too young for you to have to worry yourself over yet another *thing* you have to do. However you played it, we bet all of the kids were delighted. Well done for getting through it for another year!
Enjoy the sunshine.
Ella and Ellie x
Today we meet Laura, who lives in Croydon with her husband and their three-year-old daughter.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
I always knew I wanted to have children, but I wanted to wait until marriage. I was also aware from the age of 18 that I had PCOS, so I knew this could affect my chances of falling pregnant. I had been on hormonal contraception since my late teens to regulate my period, then moved onto the copper coil in my mid-twenties to attempt to make it easier when we eventually started trying. We were due to marry in March 2020 but had started trying from February 2020. To be honest, trying for a baby was not very fun or romantic as my cycle was so irregular that we ended up using ovulation sticks every day, so when we came to having sex, it felt so scheduled.
My period hadn't come for 49 days, so I thought this must be it. I took a test, and it was negative - the next day, my period came, and it killed me. Again, I went back to using the ovulation sticks - finally, I was ovulating, but my husband was working away and at that point, we were in the middle of an argument. I called him that day and said I was coming to Wales (where he was working at the time) to do the deed. We waited for some time, and again, my period didn't come for 50 days, so we gave it one more day, then took a test and it was positive.
It took 6 months to fall pregnant.
I knew for some people it was instant and for others took years, but it still felt like a lifetime. I am now ready for another child, but I was diagnosed with Endometriosis just over 2 years ago and again, its a worry on my mind if I'll be able to fall pregnant again.
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
Yes, I attempted to save before maternity, but as I was on furlough for part of this time, I was unable to save as much as I wanted. Plus, my company would only offer statutory maternity pay.
What is your current working situation?
Full-time.
How does your employer support you in balancing work and parenting?
It was difficult at the beginning, I was able to work from home for the first 3 months. I then went back in 2 days a week and 3 days at home. The business was changing and requested everyone to return to the office. When I spoke with my manager about this, he encouraged me to put in a simple request to make my hybrid working 'official' - this was then rejected. I'm not sure who by, but we then went back and forth for 3 months to come to an agreement. I now do 3 days in the office and 2 days at home and when I'm in the office I leave at 4pm to do the nursery run, then pick up my remaining hours at home. It's not ideal but it seems to be the best they'll do.
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family?
Generally, due to my husband’s work schedule I'm our daughter’s main caregiver. When going into the office, we wake up around 06:30, get ready and try to be in the car by 07:30 to get to nursery by 07:45. I drop her off then head into the office which is in central London, and get in for 9am. I leave work at 4 to get back to the nursery for 17:30, then we drive home and whilst dinner is cooking, it’s bath time and I finish off working. Bedtime can vary between 19:30 - 21:00 and depending my workload, I may need to log back on to finish.
What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
Depends on his schedule as he's freelance, so he could be working or working away or abroad so I'm the main caregiver, but if he's home, he can do dinner and clean the house.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
We use a nursery 3 days a week. We had to find a nursery that was close, on the way to my work/station, opening hours which allowed me to get to work on time and within budget and of course, had spaces.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
Yes, we receive funded hours and tax-free child care.
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's family's finances and budgeting?
Currently, our bill is £545 and with the tax-free childcare £440.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
No ideal, I'm constantly running around but ideally I'd like to reduce my hours but financially that’s not feasible.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
Being under paid for the work I do, but also worried about looking for another job and whether would they be flexible.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
Ideally, I'd like to work 3 days or less hours over the 5 days to spend more time with my daughter, but the childcare is too much to work less.
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
I'm definitely more focused on my health and family, I just go to work to pay the bills to be honest - if I have a good day, then it's a bonus.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
I did a lot of research into everything that I was able to claim I did, plus set boundaries and prioritised time with family.
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
Not well, but I am trying to make time for me and give myself a break - but it's hard.
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
I am to go to the gym 2x a week, but it can be hard finding childcare.