"I thought my life wouldn't change and that the baby would just slot into my life."
Meet a financial educator working to strike the right balance.
Happy Saturday! The mornings in the UK are beginning to arrive with sunshine. Waking up with a small child and opening the curtains to see LIGHT, after many months of endless darkness feels magic. Longer, lighter evenings are on their way. Lunch al fresco, park trips not wearing football manager coats, low-effort outside play. A cocktail in the garden when the children are in bed.
We’ve got it all to come, friends.
We hope you have a restful weekend and as always, thank you for being here!
Ella and Ellie x
This week we meet Funmi, a financial educator on a mission to make money talk mainstream. Her aim is to help people become confident managing money and making financial decisions, provide a safe space for people to ask questions without shame or judgment while also breaking down the stigma of talking about money and wider societal money-related issues. She lives in London with her boyfriend of nine years and their five-year-old.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
I sometimes feel guilty as I know so many people that have struggled so I don't share this often but we were really lucky. I fell pregnant really quickly after a couple of months. Mainly the pregnancy went well, but there were a few scares along the way including initial tests being inconclusive about whether our baby had a genetic disorder. Also at one scan the midwife was not able to find a heartbeat and sent me to the hospital (on my own as my boyfriend wasn't with me) to get checked out. Luckily everything was okay, but it was very scary.
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
Yes. At the time, I was working as a lawyer and knew I'd only be getting statutory maternity pay. We were also going to be doing shared parental leave - me 8 months and my boyfriend 4 months - and he was also going to be on statutory pay so we saved beforehand.
What is your current working situation?
I work full time and I'm self-employed.
How do your clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
I'm self-employed which has its perks but also its downsides. It's more of a juggle than a balance and I've still not mastered it yet. Fortunately, I have a lot of flexibility over when I work so I often end up working early in the morning and late in the evening so I can parent.
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family? How do you manage the juggle?
Me and my partner both work full time but I work from home which is very near the school and have more flexibility - so I do the school stuff. He gets her up, does her breakfast and her hair while I get up, showered and changed. Then we cross over and he gets ready for work while I do teeth brushing and getting her changed, sorting out her school bag etc.
I take her to school and pick her up every day. On Mondays, she isn't in an after-school club (ASC) so I finish work at 3, and will often end up working late on a Monday night for a few hours. She's in ASC Tuesday to Fridays so those are the days I work a longer day. I pick her up from ASC, do dinner and then we both get her ready for bed as my partner is usually back by then. He works in theatre though, so there are some weeks when a new production is launching and he's not there for bedtime so I do that on my own.
I also feel like I carry the mental load so although he gets her up, I'm the one who will have done the food shop, washed the clothes, and know what's happening in school on what day. Also, it's me that she'll want if she's ill or wakes in the middle of the night so I'm often managing on less sleep than I'd like.
What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
The school term is 38 weeks of the year so we have another 14 weeks to cover which will mainly fall to me because of the flexibility of my job. During the summer holidays, my partner took every Friday off work which in hindsight wasn't enough. We were overly optimistic about the clubs that she'd go to - she wasn't really a fan and wanted to be at home or with us. She was in clubs for a couple of weeks at the beginning but the rest of the time I was with her so I didn't do much work. Even on the days when she was in a club, as they finish at 3, my ability to work was also limited. I was trying to catch up in the evening and just ended up frazzled which wasn't ideal so we'll definitely need to look at a different way of doing things in the future.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
We use after-school clubs Tuesday to Friday and then in the holidays we use a mixture of holiday clubs and taking time off work. The school term is 38 weeks of the year so we have another 14 weeks to cover which will mainly fall to me because of the flexibility of my job.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
No funded hours as she's at school, but we use the tax tax-free childcare scheme to cover some of her after-school club costs.
How much is your monthly childcare bill?
Around £200/month during term time for after-school club. It's fairly good value at £13/session which is 2.5hrs. In the holidays, the clubs are usually £175/week.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
Hmm, great question. I love my job and the work I do but I do feel that I'm restricted as I can't go to as many events as I'd like because they're often in the evening or at times that don't work for our family. So I'm often frustrated as I want to do more but feel that I can't.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
Lack of time. I'm fairly new to my financial education work and at the beginning when you're building something you want to be able to throw everything at it to get things off the ground and to build momentum. I feel that the school holidays have taken me back a few steps as I wasn't able to work very much so it almost feels like starting from scratch again which is frustrating.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
It's got to be the childcare in the holidays. There are 14 weeks of holidays each year and it is hard and costly to juggle parenting and work during those weeks so holiday clubs that are for working hours not just 9-3 would be a great help. I've just come back from Malta and I was told that in Malta childcare is free!
Has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
Not really. I loved working before I became a mum and still love it. I just wish it was easier to do both well as I often feel like one isn't getting the best of me. I often feel guilty for putting her in after school club for most of the week but it's the only option as I can't work when she's with me and I don't want to plonk her in front of the TV while I work.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
To all employed people, I say that the place you work and the culture around parenting is so important so try and find out as much about it if you can. Speak to people who work or have worked there, look at reviews. If your workplace allows you to be flexible, you'll really appreciate it.
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
Truthfully...Swearing and then counting to 10. I say FFS a lot.
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
Ha. What self care? I honestly don't and this is something that I really need to address as I'm noticing the impact on how I feel. It's definitely something I need to work on.
Anything else to add?
Parenting is bloody hard. I had no idea and thought that my life wouldn't change that much and that the baby/child would just slot into my life. Hahaha, what an idiot I was! I had no idea about how much it takes from you emotionally as well as physically. Obviously it goes without saying that I love my daughter to bits but the reality is that it is hard (or at least, I find it hard) to have a career, build a successful business and be a present parent.