"I wanted to be more present for my daughter and less anxious about the pressures of work."
Meet Alice, a freelance comms professional with a husband in the Navy.
Happy Saturday!
This week has been super intense work-wise for me, which has meant that it’s naturally been super intense parenting-wise as well. I always feel that when Polly can sense I’m very busy and am a bit stressed, she wants the connection more. It kills me when I have to lock myself away to write, as I feel all off-kilter with her.
After next week, things settle down a bit (for a while…she says!), so I’m hoping for a lot of connection, a lot of cuddles and a LOT of saying ‘yes’.
Have a lovely weekend!
Ella x
P.S. Things might look different around here in a while, but I’ll let you know when…TBC!
Today we meet Alice, a 31-year-old freelance events, communications and content writing professional. She’s been freelancing for a year now with one long-term client, another part-time client and a few other bits, including supply teaching as she’s an ex-English teacher. She lives in Somerset with her husband who is an Officer in the Royal Navy, her almost 2-year-old daughter and her labrador.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
My journey to becoming a parent was rather simple - it was a 'if it happens, it happens!'.
We were very lucky to conceive naturally, and pregnancy was quite simple throughout. We had quite a difficult birth - my daughter was induced (failed three times) and then had an infection, so we ended up in hospital for 9 days in total!
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
I didn't save ahead of time as I was full-time teaching - I took 10 months in the end, as I needed to go back to work for at least 12 weeks in order to not have to pay it back. When I returned to work, I knew teaching wasn't for me, so I left in the summer. Paternity leave was 2 weeks, then a week's compassionate leave due to our stay in hospital. My husband then took some shared parental leave the next year.
What is your current working situation?
Part-time, remote with visits to London and other venues, flexible hours and self-employed.
How do your clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
They appreciate that I have a young daughter and are happy for my days to be flexible. All my clients have been fab for this!
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family? How do you manage the juggle?
A typical working day when my husband isn't away starts with a 6am knock on the door from my daughter - 'Morning, Mummy!' followed by the usual getting ready routines - my husband leaves at 7am, if he hasn't taken the dog for a walk, I will after getting my daughter dressed and ready to go to nursery (around the corner from us). I'll then return home, walk the dog or go on a run so I'm ready to log on at 8:30. I’ll work for the day from home and then I'll pick my daughter up at 5. My husband returns at 6pm, sometimes later. If he is away, it gets a bit trickier!
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
Nursery - 3 times a week. We decided on it as it's literally around the corner from us and lots of our friends use it. My mum also looks after my daughter on a Thursday morning and at various times - she was very happy to volunteer, and I love that my daughter gets to spend time with her grandparents.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
Yes
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's finances and budgeting?
Our monthly childcare bill is approx. £500 - we have some funding which supports us as working parents but it still takes a big chunk off our finances each month - we look forward to my daughter receiving more funded hours from September.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
I love the flexibility and freedom of it. I enjoy the fact I can walk my daughter to nursery and love the exciting world I'm working in now. I enjoy the creativity of the field I'm in. I'd love to expand more as my daughter gets older.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
The months with less work, especially going into the summer months, where things tend to shut down. It can be a bit trickier managing budgets at this point.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
The rising cost of childcare…
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
I wanted to be more present for my daughter and less anxious/worried about the pressures of work - I have different pressures now but more freedom to focus on what is important. I work part-time and from home which means I can work around her schedule and ensure my work/home life balance is there.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
The advice I'd give is to remember that we can't 'do it all' and we should ensure our expectations of us are reachable. Social media is a big one for making it look like someone has it all but they will be finding it difficult to juggle at points as well.
Re-framing your 'guilt' in a different way can help too - feeling guilty for working longer hours one day? That's a lovely moment of extra bonding with her friends or key worker at nursery, or it's brilliant that your daughter is seeing a working mum!
Watch Motherland as well - brilliant and hilarious representation of the working primary parent juggle!
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
Scrolling...OR watching something like Peep Show or Motherland...
In all seriousness though, writing a list and ticking it off - re-evaluating and prioritising tasks helps a lot. Calendarising EVERYTHING - especially with a husband in the military who is quite often away.
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
Taking my dog for a walk or exercising after taking my daughter to nursery with a podcast really fills my cup. I've implemented this into my routine as a non-negotiable. Having relaxed time with friends over a glass of wine helps as well - a moment to focus on myself (although I certainly end up missing my daughter anyway!)