"I was clear in my dating profile I wanted a family, so if that wasn't the case for them - to swipe past."

Meet Serena, who met her partner and had her children within the same year.

Good morning from Singapore (via Ella) and London (via Ellie)!

We hope you’ve had a lovely week.

How are we all getting on? If there’s one thing we want to share this week, it’s just how much easier parenting is in the sunshine. Granted, this week hasn’t been quite as good as we’ve had it this Spring so far, but we’re holding out hope for a bright, sunny summer.

What are the holiday vibes this year? Is anyone going anywhere far-flung? Or perhaps you’re planning to stay in the UK for a staycation? Whether you’ve got a long-haul flight ahead of you, or your feet in a washing-up bowl in your garden instead, we very much hope that you can find some time just for you.

Ella and Ellie x

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Today we meet, Serena Smith, Mortgage & Protection Adviser @TheMortgageAccount. She lives in Lancashire, parenting with her partner who's currently on Shared Paternity Leave. She’s now back at work (#selfemployedlife) and is the mother of identical twins born in October 2024.

What is your approximate household income?

~£95000

Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?

After spending the majority of my late 20s & early 30s solo in 2020, I started to explore IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). However, this was looking very costly as despite being told I would qualify for free treatment through the NHS after 2 years of tests, I was told that wasn't the case. In 2024, I met my partner online. I was really clear in my profile, I wanted a family and marriage so if that wasn't the case - to swipe past. So when I thought I was becoming pre-menopausal and that we might need to start taking action sooner than we'd thought, I was totally gobsmacked to find out I was actually pregnant! We booked in an early private scan and the sneak peak blood test to find out the gender. At 7 weeks we found out we were expecting twins and at 8 weeks when the bloods came back - that they were boys!

Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?

We hadn't had chance. I had been finishing the work to the house I'd bought solo in July and had a pretty hefty tax bill. It was a tricky pregnancy dealing with hyperemesis and a selective growth issue, meaning I had to have weekly scans from 16 weeks, so I was down to 3.5 working days a week at best. Maternity leave was spent mostly in the hospital - firstly in NICU, then in another local hospital due to being discharged too soon from NICU (investigation currently underway). I was doing weekly KIT days from 2 weeks after birth, and back full time after 15 weeks at which point my Partner took over with shared paternity leave until April 2025.

What is your current working situation?

Back to full-time self-employed.

How do your clients support you in balancing work and parenting?

My clients are 99% from Instagram, where I talk openly about my life - so they understand, although I did have 3 very difficult clients who didn't understand whilst I was in the NICU and made a very difficult time even worse. I'll never forget how the way they spoke to me made me feel. Otherwise, everyone has been amazing and I am so grateful!

Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family?

At present - because let’s face it, it's an ever-changing model - I get up ~6am for the bum and feed round with my partner. I then come down and stick the dishwasher on whilst I have some breakfast and a brew. I then start the steriliser for the night’s bottles. I then come back up and get ready for work. Back down to check the nappy caddies are stacked and a couple of spare sets of clothes. I then stick a load of washing on and set my timer(key for keeping on top of things) then I'm in the office that joins on to our kitchen, for a day of emails/meetings and chasing Solicitors. I try do as much with the boys as I can, and help partner with doing nappies and feeds where I can. We currently also have my Mum living with us whilst she recovers from a spike in her leukaemia.

What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?

We split everything pretty equally. My partner does the food shops, I do the cooking. I express, so he sorts the bottles, I do the bums at night so he runs the bottles up and downstairs. We both administer meds and sort the dogs. I do the bathrooms, he does the floors, etc. We try our best to look after one another - and a big one what is said on the night feed stays on the night feed!

What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?

Currently, my Mum helps with what she can, and due to my smaller twin’s additional health complications, we are trying to put off Nursery until September 2025 if we can.

Will you receive any funded hours for childcare?

I believe so?

[EDITOR: Based on what Serena has told Double Shift, it’s likely her family will qualify for tax-free childcare - from September 2025, this will increase to 30 hours per week for children aged 9 months to school age).]

How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's finances and budgeting?

Zero for now, thankfully.

How do you feel about your current work situation?

I wish I didn't NEED to work, but as the breadwinner, I have no choice and working from home, I do also know I am very lucky.

What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?

Self-employed isn't the right term...I have many bosses, i.e. my clients. I am trying to work fixed hours, but it's also not that simple. Lenders pull rates without notice and despite being clear about what I work with, clients will say they can't do that. I do question myself often if I need to ask at the outset, if this means we are aligned?

If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?

Better self-employed Maternity Leave.

[EDITOR: between £27 to £187.18 a week for up to 39 weeks if you're self-employed.]

How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?

My patience for BS is non-existent, I have no bandwidth for it anymore. I have additional respect for parents, especially other multiple parents - it really is nothing like 2 under 2 or anything else, it's worth it though.

What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?

Utilise technology! I set timers for everything so I finish the life admin jobs during the day and have time with us all in an evening, knowing we are prepared for the night and on average only need to do the washing every other day, sometimes less.

Huckleberry is the best app we've found, thanks to a friend! Have a calendar you all use and can be accessed on both / all phones. Communicate, the good, the bad and the ugly! Share the jobs out equally, as I've said above.

How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?

Cry! Literally let the tears flow and tell my partner / family why I'm crying. We still have to experience my partner being back at work for potentially a further 5 months before we look to use Nursery and my Mum's health is in question - I am worrying but we talk about it. As a problem shared always feels less.

How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?

I try to book "things" on my lunch - I booked a sound bath at 8pm on a Saturday WTAF! We usually go up to bed with the boys ~8-9:30 I wouldn't have enjoyed it, dreading the potential witching hour my partner might have had to deal with solo and thinking about going made me tired. I accept I'm in my breakfast / brunch only era! I am a very accepting person - I am reminded daily by the many people who stare (yes, stare at us) that it's a handful!

Anything else to add?

Instagram has been a lovely place for me, FB not so much. Accept every offer of help!!!