"I'm happy to have something steady-ish going, during the chaos that is early motherhood. "
Meet Kelly, who manages her time with strict boundaries with her clients.
Happy weekend, all. We hope you’re doing amazingly.
How are we almost at the end of March? We know time is a fickle beast when you have children (nights are long / days are short etc etc) but this is RIDICULOUS!
Ella and Ellie x
This week we meet coach and consultant Kelly who lives in London with her partner, 2.5 year old - and one on the way!).
What is your approximate household income?
£150k/yr.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
Baby 1 was a "let's start trying soon" ...and she came before we really started trying. The best slight surprise. Baby 2 came quickly after starting trying last summer.
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
Yes, but more so we were thoughtful in our approach to financial planning. Notably, we cut back on spending ahead of our daughter arriving, so our incoming could be less and not strain ourselves financially.
What is your current working situation?
I'm self-employed part-time (I work for 2.5-3 days/week), and my partner is 50% part-time salaried.
How do your employer or clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
They're pretty supportive, but the UK is better for boundaries generally - I work with UK and Canadian clients at the minute. For American clients I simply set the rules up front, and in my contracts.
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family?
We have our daughter in nursery Tues-Fri, from 7:30a-1p. The "shifts" that aren't covered by daycare we split (I am with her Monday morn & Weds afternoon, he is with her Mon+Tues+Thurs afternoon). Friday afternoons we spend as a family.
I take meetings in my afternoons only (3-6pm UK time) and do heads-down work 2 mornings a week. This leaves me 2 mornings a week to "myself" aka unpaid work time.
I didn't manage the juggle well when I filled every hour of my childcare time with working commitments (had to learn the hard way!), but now I'm pretty strict to only bill 20 hours of work per week, so I have another ±10 to do unpaid work / learn new things / relax in my own time. I regularly take evening calls (8pm UK time) which isn't the best...but it affords me more time with my daughter when she's awake.
What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
He's the default cook, gardener and dog walker. I manage all bills, family finances generally, house /child admin, special events / family time.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
We waited until our daughter was 18 months old to use proper childcare (had an adhoc babysitter prior) and she's now in a forest preschool.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
Yes, we get a 35%ish discount.
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's finances and budgeting?
£775 - it's doable given our income and currently low mortgage rate (which is sadly changing in August).
How do you feel about your current work situation?
Good, it affords me flexibility and good income. It's a "job" in many ways, but I only work on projects or with teams I enjoy and I'm happy to have something steady-ish going as a small biz owner during the chaos that is early motherhood.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
Unpredictability - we can sign loads of clients at once (and be slammed with work / looking to find subcontractors) or nothing at all for ages!
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
Someone to do the pickups and dropoffs for me. I hired an assistant who helped with this for a period, but couldn't justify the cost.
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
I want to spend time with my daughter more than I want to work! And yet work gives me a dopamine hit and intellectual outlet that is hard pressed to find in early motherhood. My career is a part of my mental health support system...and is less and less becoming what will shape my legacy.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
Therapy and coaching! Each person out there is going to need something different. My guidance would be to get to know your personal needs and remember that there is always a solution to all of life's problems. If you feel there isn't one that "works" for you...then you simply must not be thinking creatively enough!
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
In the moment, I walk away. Nothing good happens when you are reacting (vs responding). I'll look to quickly reset via listening to a song that's appropriate based on the mood (ranging from Lizzo to the Beautiful Chorus) and then do a meditation via To Be Magentic when the time presents itself to reflect on how to avoid ending up in that situation in the future.
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
I simply make it the priority. How I feel is more important than earning loads of money. I say no when I've earnt enough, and shut down that pesky little ego of mine!