"My previous job would not have worked with having kids."
Meet Vicky, who is finding it easier to manage the juggle as her kids get older.
Good morning!
We hope you had another lovely week of glorious sunshine.
A big congratulations to Ellie this week, who has launched a BRAND NEW podcast - Help Me, I’m Poor - with Clare Seal. They’ve been working super hard BTS and it’s so exciting that the pod is finally out in the world! Give it a listen!
Have a great long weekend and see you next week.
As always, always looking for voices to contribute! x
This week we meet Vicky, a freelance PR consultant who works for two PR agencies and also has her own clients. She’s married with two boys ages 8 and 10.
What is your approximate household income?
My husband is the bread winner and my amount varies each year depending on what accounts I've freelanced on! Freelancing has many pros and cons - and this is one of the cons for a stable income.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
It took us 4 years to have our first son. I was diagnosed with severe polysystic ovaries after a year of trying for a baby. I then educated myself how to manage PCOS once I came off the pill. It was a combination of exercise, a low GI diet with more protein to help ovulation quality and we also tried fertility drugs. We tried clomid first to start to help ovulation and I was also prescribed a drug called metformin which helps insulin resistance and PCOS. After another year of no luck we then went for IVF. It all became quite expensive as we paid for the IVF ourselves. We worked out we must have spent around £20,000 on everything fertility-related. The first round of IVF, I got pregnant - I was delighted! Then I sadly miscarried at 8 weeks. The second round failed. We then took some time out as it had become quite stressful. Then a year later we went on holiday to Spain, enjoyed some good food, relaxed and I came back pregnant the natural way and had our first son born on Christmas Day! It was an amazing Christmas present. With the pressure off as we had one lovely healthy little boy, we started thinking about another child. I definitely didn't want to go through the journey again as we had the first time so we went in a lot more educated on PCOS and a lot more relaxed. We were very lucky to conceive our second son within 2 months of trying on a holiday to France! It must be something about holidays and the relaxation!
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
First time around, we saved a little but as I was freelancing I received the statutory government pay. My husband had just started a new role not too long after coming out of the army - he was an officer at Sandhurst. Money was tight, however I was very lucky to have time off to spend with my eldest. I took 18 months off, which in hindsight I remember was a bit too long but I wanted to get the right freelance position. Then I got pregnant again so took a 6 month contract. It did make things harder not having a stable income for sure and we did go without a lot but I think at the time we just felt so lucky to have a baby and be having another the fact we hadn't had any extras didn't matter. With my eldest and my husband starting a new job he could only take a week and a half off paternity leave which I did find really hard as it was my first baby - I didn't know what I was doing! My parents came up every week and my sister-in-law lived close with a baby so that really helped. I also did NCT. With my second, I went back to work after 9 months, as the baby was due end of November, my husband took Dec leave and then a new holiday year Jan leave so had 6 weeks off which was a massive help. I was ready to go back to work earlier with my second son and my mother-in-law helped having him once a week. I relied on freelancing around my youngest napping, my mother-in-law having him once a week so I could go in the office that day and my eldest in preschool. We received the extra free childcare hours when he turned 3. It was just stressful if I needed to go on a conference call and the baby would wake up from a nap!
What is your current working situation?
I'm pretty much remote with the odd meeting face to face and team catch-ups, which I love. I'm lucky that both the agencies I work for are really flexible and I have the best bosses.
How do your clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
They are honestly so good. I couldn't do it if not, so I've realised how important this is. I think they do know though, if I can't do something because a child is ill, I need to go to a school play or concert, I will log on later. I am flexible too. I feel it works both ways but it is also important to set boundaries. I generally don't work on a Friday however, as ever with PR if there was an urgent deadline of course I would ensure it is made!
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family? How do you manage the juggle?
Both me and my husband take the children to school. At the moment he only goes into London 1 day a week but that will change and it will be 3 days a week soon as he is starting a new job. School drop off is no problem as the school gates open at 8.20am so it is early enough with working at home. If I have an event, f2f client meeting or an exhibition my husband tries to work at home which is normally OK or we ask his mum who lives closer than my parents. We manage 3 days a week pick up ourselves. One day a week Dom’s mum picks up and 1 day a week we have a childminder so I get 2 long days. Now the boys are older there are more clubs open to them also from the school.
What role does your co-parent play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
I am very lucky he is a really good support. He is very hands-on and when work allows will try and support as much as he can. I generally am the organiser though and manage the day-to-day household responsibilities, school info etc.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
My mother-in-law comes once a week. She has said she loves having that time with them. They go to Granny’s after school for dinner. We also use a childminder who was actually the boys previous preschool teacher. She has become a friend and offered to have them for a couple of hours after school once a week.
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
Both boys are now at school so no, but we did when at preschool. Both boys were with me till they were 2 then they went to preschool.
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's finances and budgeting?
We just have to pay the childminder for 2 hours after school 1 day a week, which isn't too bad.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
Good. But I also think that's because the boys are older. It's only just started to feel good in the last year or so. I think it's always hard to get the balance and there are times you have guilt as you are either working too much or other way around but I definitely think as they get older, it's much easier. I also think pre-Covid it was much harder and remote working has helped SO much. Don't get me wrong, there are times in the holidays we are working and feel the boys have been on their iPads for too long and we feel guilty and try and get them out to the park for a bit!
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
As I get busier which I really am excited about it will be more challenging managing both our diaries and childcare. 2025 looks to be a busy year work-wise for both me and my husband - and the busiest one yet post kids so it will be interesting and have its challenges I'm sure. I'm trying to think ahead to have things in place where we are both in London for work. I also think the school holidays can be a juggle in particular the 6-week holidays and it takes some planning.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
More affordable holiday clubs so more support during the holidays.
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
Wow what a juggling act! I admire so many families juggling it all. I can see you really have to take each year as it comes, but as the kids get older it does get easier.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
I do think sometimes you might have to step out of your comfort zone and if you can look for a career change or new job if the current set up isn't working for you. My previous job would not have worked with having kids. I was 4 days a week in London and I don't think we could have afforded the childcare to support that. Tips and resources for managing time and responsibilities - I still feel I'm learning at this! Some days I'm on it some not! I do always have lists though - work lists and then life admin lists!
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
Exercise: whether a slow walk or a run - and get outside for some fresh air!
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
It's so important. I've got better at this. I am very social, but also love time to myself. This is top of my list whether it's exercise, a face pack and nails or a cheesy movie and putting all my candles on - I love it!