"What never changed for me is my desire to work."
Meet a life coach who's done the work to balance work and motherhood.
Welcome back to Double Shift!
How are you? We’re finally in February. Whether you hit the ground running or crawled across the finish line, we see you. How did January go for you? We hope February brings fresh energy - and we’re here for all the ups, downs, and in-betweens of working parent life.
As always, we’re honoured to have you here.
Ella and Ellie x
This week, we’re hearing from Eve - a Leadership Coach, moving out of her in-house corporate leadership coaching role into running her own coaching practice. She specialises in coaching leaders who happen to be in the thick of parenthood with all its additional challenges. She lives in London with her husband and has 3 boys: 2 from her previous marriage - they are 15 and 13 - and the youngest with her husband - he is 7. You can find her at @eveostrovskaya.
What is your approximate household income?
£200k pa.
Can you share your journey to becoming a parent?
I had no challenges with becoming a parent with the 3 boys. However, we did try for another for about 3 years and lost 3 pregnancies, one a year pretty much. We have now made peace with it.
Did you save ahead of time for your child? What did maternity leave look like for you?
No, no savings prior to mat leave. All 3 of my mat leaves were in the UK, I took 10 months with all three because I couldn't afford to take the whole year. My husband was interested in shared leave, but it would have not been financially viable as he was on 30k more than me at the time.
What is your current working situation?
I'm currently employed full time as well as owning a limited company (but from April 2025 I will be a proud entrepreneur running my coaching company full time).
How do your employer or clients support you in balancing work and parenting?
My employer (QVC) has been very supportive and allowed a lot of flex - my boss is in the US and I've always had to flex and work into the evening so I've been able to do more with the kids in the mornings and be there before school. This wasn't the case when I worked for a UK-based team and had to go to the office every day - that was a hell of a logistical twist and I hardly saw my older kids except at the weekends. Things shifted when I went into a global team and started working from home in 2018.
Can you walk me through a typical working day for you and your family? How do you manage the juggle?
So, we wake up at around 6:45am (my husband is an early riser so he'll be up around 6), and the three kids wake up at 7am. We have a good routine going in the morning - since we both work from home we are able to cook them breakfast and the teenagers get the train to school at around 7.45am and hubby and I take turns to walk the 7yo to school at 8.15am.
We have our breakfast together and talk about day ahead at 8.45. 9am - 6pm we both crack on and do our thing, we will both muck in and do some chores in between work (I own laundry, he owns dishwasher - everything else is shared teamwork). Sometimes one of us will be at an event so the other one covers the household stuff.
5pm the big boys come back (sometimes it's 6pm depending on their afterschool clubs). Our 15 yo now also has a part-time job on Wednesdays at the gym, so on Wednesday he comes back at 8.
Around 5.30pm one of us goes to fetch the 7yo from the afterschool club. 5:30 - 6:30 is homework and dinner prep slot - so the boys get on with homework and one of us will cook dinner. We take turns with cooking depending on how busy the day is for the other person.
6.30-7pm - family dinner with the boys, we talk about our day and each share 3 things that went well that day (helps with focusing on the positive and developing gratitude for kids and us!). 7-7.45pm is tidy up and TV time for the kids and 7.45 the little one's bedtime - lights out 8.15 for him (we take turns to read him a story).
Teenagers sort themselves out obviously at that point. They migrate to the bedroom to chill at around 8pm. The evenings are a variety of things - sometimes we have client calls with the US in the evening from 8pm to 10pm, or attend training (I'm studying currently towards my next coaching certification and that's 8pm Tuesdays). Sometimes I will go to the gym at 7.30 and sometimes take the 15yo with me for an evening swim (do that every couple of weeks which is nice treat for us both). Bedtime tends to be around 10pm for us. We read, or watch a little light stuff on telly but 10pm generally we are done. I like to get at least 8 hours of sleep I find it's the min for me to feel energised.
What role does your partner play in managing childcare and household responsibilities?
It's all completely shared between husband and I, but it's never 50/50 each day - it fluctuates throughout the week - some weeks he'll do 70 and I'll do 30 if things are busy. Sometimes I travel for work and he'll do 100% and vice versa. Our mindset is we both own all jobs around the house and proactively look for things to do, tidy up, clear away etc.
What type of childcare do you use and how did you decide on it?
With our kids ages now - 15, 13 and 7 we need little childcare outside of school. Our 7yo goes to the afterschool club (3-6pm every day), and we pay for holiday camps (8am-6pm during school holidays). In preschool ages, we had a variety of full-time childcare - nursery, childminder and with my big ones I had to have a live-in au pair to cut the cost for two close in age in order to be able to continue working full time (my salary wasn't enough to cover two nursery places)
Do you receive any funded hours for childcare?
No.
How much is your monthly childcare bill, and how does it impact your family's family's finances and budgeting?
Low now in comparison to pre-school - it's around £400 a month. It used to be £1,800 a month with the youngest nursery for 4 years and was a struggle - we had to reduce our mortgage payments to a minimum to get through that time.
How do you feel about your current work situation?
I feel very good and supported. When I move to running my own business full-time, I imagine this will be okay as I’m used to working hard.
What are the biggest challenges you face with your current work arrangement?
I wouldn't say it's been a challenge but over the years I've had to be very open to working in the evenings and leaving children for a couple of weeks at a time on my US trips a couple of times a year.
If you could change one thing about your work or childcare situation, what would it be?
Childcare wraparound care - the cost is ridiculous. Work-wise - I wouldn't change anything but I also know it's a very privileged place to be - working from home full-time. I used to have a 1.5 commute each way every day with 3 kids and if I had to continue that I would have been ill or had to resign. Luckily I went to a global position in 2018 and that changed my level of flex massively for the better.
How has your perspective on work and career changed since becoming a parent?
Gosh, this is a great question and the whole reason for my coaching practice! The biggest shift for me was a change in perspective - I learned over the years of being a parent to view work as only a part of my life - and I've been very ambitious over the years and worked very hard - but my kids brought me back from the brink of work addiction because I had to come out of work mode and care for them and play with them and disconnect. What never changed for me is my desire to work, have my own income and continue to grow in my career - if anything having 10 months of maternity leave with all my kids helped me realise that work isn't just for money, I actually want to work, it energises me, I love the cerebral challenge it gives me.
What advice would you give to other working parents trying to balance their careers and family life?
I have my blog I've been writing for working parents - there is a ton of useful advice I have collated there over the years.
How do you handle moments of stress or overwhelm related to balancing work and parenting?
I use breathing techniques I learned in yoga - particularly the Ocean breathing or Ujjayi Pranayama when stress kicks in - both with kids and at work.
I have done a lot of self-care work over the years - and I'm huge on exercise, nutrition and sleep - all of which help make my tolerance levels to stress much higher.
How do you prioritise self-care and personal time amid your busy schedule?
Something I have come a long way - from near burnout and lots of numbing with social, crap telly and wine - to living my healthiest life where I exercise every single day, eat healthily, sleep well and have complete control of my alcohol intake. I find that self-care and self-compassion are key to success as a working parent. And when I was in jobs and childcare combos that didn't allow me to be this healthy I paid for that with health and relationships breakdowns.
Anything else to add?
When working parents hide their challenges, everyone loses. Your team misses out on your authentic leadership. Your colleagues lose the chance to support you. Most importantly, you carry an unnecessary burden of pretence. I felt for years the need to compartmentalise the parenting and family part of my life from my career and work life. What I'm really passionate about now is actually integrating it all and helping my clients negotiate arrangements with work that are a must-have so they can be their best selves as opposed to having to work pretending they don't have caring responsibilities leading to burnout.